The American Dream -Midlifehood Edition | Week 10 Post-layoff

For years, we chased our interpretation of the traditional American Dream—by building and running our own business. Opening our restaurant in Chicago was the culmination of those aspirations. We poured everything into it, including cashing out our 401K and accepting offers from family members who wanted to relocate to help. Did we get rich doing it, as some might consider essential to the American Dream? No. But we had the opportunity to do something we loved, to create something of our own, to do it with family and to serve our community.

In fact the new owners, who purchased the business from us when we moved back to Texas, kept almost everything the same, including staff! Last year we enjoyed traveling up for a reunion and to celebrate our combined 20 years in business. The experiences were invaluable, even if it meant delaying our savings journey by about 15 years.

Now, ten weeks post-layoff, I find myself sorting through piles of clothes I hadn't properly looked at in over five years. Each item in my hands represents a decision—keep, donate, sell. As I work through my dresser drawer by drawer, I realize how much our perspective has shifted. The American Dream we're now pursuing isn't about accumulating more, but intentionally choosing less. It isn't about following a predetermined single path to success—it's about having the freedom to chart our own course and recognizing that the journey itself is success.

This Week's Reality Check

• Week 10 post-layoff: Still onboarding the new clients, but seeing the first cracks of daylight in my schedule
• Decluttering progress: Emptied and sorted through dresser contents for the first time in 5+ years
• Outcome: Reduced contents by more than 50% (keep, donate, sell piles)
• House prep: Power washing and re-staining fence, freshening up garden and planters
• Financial mindset: Focusing on our "freedom number" rather than traditional retirement metrics
• Mood: Energized by small progress and clearer vision of our next chapter

What We're Actually Doing

By the end of this week, client work finally began slowing down, and I spotted the first real cracks of daylight in my schedule. Instead of filling those moments with more work (my default setting for the past decade), I decided to tackle our decluttering list, starting with my long-neglected dresser. There's something surprisingly freeing about holding each item and asking, "Does this deserve to come with us into our next chapter?" By the time I finished, the dresser contained less than half as much as when I started—a small victory that left me excited to go through the same intentional process with other drawers, closets and cabinets in our house.

Meanwhile, Bryan took advantage of this week's perfect weather to power wash the deck and start re-staining the fence. It's not a small job, and we both noticed it gets a little more challenging, physically, each year—a gentle reminder of why we're making these changes now. We want to enjoy adventures in our later years, not spend them maintaining more space than we need.

We also refreshed our raised garden containers and flower pots as temperatures climbed into the 80s during the day and settle into the 60s at night. Over the years, we've intentionally planted perennials that return annually—mint, oregano, chives, rosemary, sage, and thyme—saving both money and time. (I always smile when I see how much the grocery store charges for fresh herbs, knowing the bounty we have in our garden-lol.)

This year, we added spring flowers to the pots where we previously tried growing vegetables. While we did enjoy some homegrown bell peppers, onions, potatoes, and tomatoes, the wildlife ended up eating more of them than we did. This year we chose to embrace the simple joy of seeing flowers bloom and watching the bees enjoy them.

After completing these small but meaningful tasks, it's becoming clearer how our definition of the American Dream has evolved. We're no longer chasing traditional markers of success but focusing on what truly makes us feel happy and fulfilled.

We recently heard something in a car commercial that stuck with us: "Life doesn't come with an owner's manual, so that means we get to write our own stories." It reinforced our reinterpretation of the American Dream and with where we find ourselves now, reinventing midlifehood.

Also this week, I learned about Bill Perkins' thought-provoking book "Die with Zero," which also seems to align perfectly with our current mindset. Apparently, he writes, "The whole point of being wealthy is to squeeze as much life as you can out of your limited time on earth." What strikes me about this quote is that "wealthy" doesn't necessarily mean having millions in the bank—to me, it can mean having enough resources to optimize for meaningful experiences.

From what I understand, Perkins challenges the conventional wisdom of aggressive saving followed by retirement spending, arguing instead for balancing enjoyment throughout your life while you still have the health and energy to fully experience it. In midlifehood, we're realizing that our greatest wealth isn't measured in dollars but in our health, having the freedom to choose how we spend our days, where we live, and what work fulfills us.

This perspective caught my attention, especially given our non-traditional savings journey. While the full-time jobs I had allowed me the opportunity to "401k save" for both of us, we started late because there simply wasn't enough left over after covering expenses in those early career years. Then, we moved to Chicago and needed the money to open the business. Since restarting our saving less than a decade ago, we realize there are more years behind us than in front of us - and with that comes a smaller number of years to recover from market volatility.

Luckily, we never saw ourselves as people who would fully retire and not work at all. Now we're grateful for the opportunity to experience the American Dream in a different way—not by retiring completely, but by continuing to work in our virtual business while visiting and exploring new places with our tiny camper. Our resolve to live more intentionally and smaller has only strengthened.

I think we realized, early on, that our goals in life weren't traditional. In hindsight, this realization has provided us with the freedom to think outside the box and consider all of our options. One important set of options is where to live that will help our savings go further. The answer could be the tiny house a few counties over, another state, or even exploring other countries. We've realized that The American Dream, like Reinventing Midlifehood, isn't about one specific outcome. It's about the freedom to choose your path and write your own story.

Let's Talk

Has your definition of the American Dream changed as you've gotten older? What would your life look like if you designed it around freedom of choice rather than traditional metrics of success?

Looking Forward

Next week will bring more fence staining, weed-pulling, and cutting back bamboo that didn't survive our winter (unlike the hardy rosemary and sage). After that, it's finally putting in that camper flooring, some metal-detecting and moving into full decluttering mode as we prepare ourselves for a much lighter way of living.

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